kocch (kocch) wrote in chocolatewinbox,

The fall

Title: the fall
Medium(s) Used: Video: Exit Movement
Pairing: Kimnam
Length: not even a 1K
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The soundtrack of Jinwoo’s life.
Author's Note: I’m sorry this is short and bad and rushed.

For the days of sorrow and distress. For the shed tears and the broken hearts, and the bunch of meaningless words filling page after page, black against white, in search of something that will make finally sense (even if there is none) – for the days where life stagnate in a pool of hopelessness, and there is no other colour but grey to describe it. For the days when the world seems to fall apart like a sandcastle too close to the sea, in a wave of desperate eagerness – and there is no way to stop the fall, no way you can’t win against physic laws. For the days when he must learn how to adapt, learn how to breathe underwater, how to occupy the tiniest corner in the entire universe, and be fine with it – for the days he’s nothing, for the days when rain falls down and he does, too.

For the days when the sunlight warms his face and it’s almost refreshing to close his eyes and be sure there is still something beyond himself, behind the red of eyelids – days when it’s good to feel alive, and every little ache, every strained muscle, is a reminder that he’s still there, still breathing. For the days of laughter and love, of bittersweet self-awareness and certain happiness. For the way it would not last long, no matter how hard he tries, and that would make those few moments a treasure, necessary to keep his sanity when the only solution is a bottle of alcohol and the pressure of his pen on the page, as he writes – black against white.

For moments of guilt and moments of liberation. For every instant of his life – Jinwoo has music that accompanies him.

It’s Taehyun’s.

Jinwoo knows by heart the sound of his hasty, impatient steps down the hallway and how he’ll burst the door open, shouting a “hyung” before showing him his new composition. There is a thrill in Taehyun’s smile, in his shaking hands, and his ragged breath, and there is a whole new world in the recorder he holds.

A new track that only Jinwoo can listen to.

It hasn’t changed all this time, not when Jinwoo stopped talking to Taehyun after a pretty bad argument, not after Jinwoo almost broke his head to help Taehyun in trouble, and not even when they got in a band, going from two to five.

Music for the moment Seungyoon came into their life. With fists of iron and edgy smiles and a voice that holds a thousand stories – talks of despair and anger and dissatisfaction, of fiery and dangerous pride, but also of ardent and undying love – talks of ceaseless fire that burn everything around in search of space and oxygen, destroying even the smallest spot of life to keep itself alive.

Music for when Seunghoon decided to gather a group and make it a rock band. For his confidence in being the best frontman they could get, because he is just born to be a star and they’re what he needs to make it happen. It’s just destiny, it’s meant to be, embedded within Seunghoon just as much as his liking for danger, for strong emotions, for everything that will make his life the one of a rockstar – all the glimmering appearance that barely hides the hungry black hole beneath.

Music for Mino, the chronic liar. For all the love he keeps collecting like he would collect drumsticks, all the affairs he prides himself with, for all the girls that are just another story on his mouth, washed down by alcohol and a constant need to prove himself a man. He doesn’t keep promises, he always forgets to – but he doesn’t when it comes to the drums. That’s the only thing that really makes him feel real, and not as meaningless as every relationship he tries to start.

Music for when Taehyun comes to his room, uninspired and stressed, probably on the verge of a breakdown, and Jinwoo lays his hands on his back, undoing knot after knot until Taehyun goes to sleep peacefully, completely restored.

That last tune would be mellow, about two souls that need no word to talk to each other, the gentle touches and proximity that would wipe the stress away, and the black of night slowly melting into the blue-grey of early morning. A piano track, played by Taehyun himself – the melody gently telling a story – theirs.

For every instant of his life Taehyun’s music doesn’t leave him alone, sometimes charming, sometimes haunting, but always incredibly strong. It’s the peacemaker of Jinwoo’s day.

Yet now, there is only silence.
Tags: !fics, p: kimnam, rating: pg13, round: 2016
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